If Bill O'Reilly Was A Rapper

September 21, 2007

The first single from Bill O'Reilly's new album "Made You Watch." Lyrics below:

Made You Watch

Now let me distort your perspective with my invective
Then pretend I'm objective
Y'all appointed me to serve injustice
kick like a steel toe y'all know it's Bill-O

My tactics are trifling, when I attack for the right wing
Run up from the back push the knife in
Up in my No Spin Zone i rock your bells like a ringtone
Call you prehistoric like Fllintstones

This ain't journalism, this is fox news
You need a plan for some slander, i got you
Propaganda I spit like *hock poo*
And that stan named Olbermann's getting got too

Plus I know you've seen colbert jackin my swagger
but now I'm back in the lab and the fact of the matter is
The O'Reilly Factor is fatter, the facts don't matter
If i lack raw data i just pack more chatter

And when you see me debating the screaming and hating
Is only succeeding in making all of my ratings get fatter

he's lying!

Ha, made you watch
In my game you're a pawn when I'm on Fox
Getting big cuz I mix all your minds up
Where my don's at? Where my neocons at?

original source file

Posted by jsmooth995 at September 21, 2007 10:26 PM

wow if bill was that good at rapping i'd cop his album

jay you got bars, i wanna see you make a legit rap song one time

Posted by: tucan sam ain't nuthin ta f' wit at September 21, 2007 10:49 PM

Right on J Smooth!

The O'Reilly Factor is fatter, the facts don't matter
If i lack raw data i just pack more chatter
And when you see me debating the screaming and hating
Is only succeeding in making all of my ratings get fatter.

Its been dugg twice. show j smooth digg love. peace

Posted by: Nathan Ketsdever at September 21, 2007 11:21 PM

Yo this is hilarious....I know you were kidding and all but you got spits mos def. You really should consider putting an album together doggie .You could call it "Vlog on both Sides"...lol

Posted by: purple tape at September 21, 2007 11:27 PM

That was MF hot.

Posted by: Knots at September 22, 2007 12:46 AM

Yoooooooooo... you elevated. The writing is ill! Concept is sewn up nice and tight. Precise.

Posted by: Digital at September 22, 2007 1:16 AM

Oh sh!t that was fresh.
Jay the people are asking for some tracks.

Posted by: Jay B at September 22, 2007 1:25 AM


Marry me.

Posted by: Nicole at September 22, 2007 1:52 AM

Yes Yes, definitely dugg.

Posted by: TakaM at September 22, 2007 2:57 AM

fresh! your work paid off, nice editing.

Posted by: ill selettore at September 22, 2007 3:01 AM

This entry/video has won the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this week at my blog.


You literally stole the award from someone else because this was just too good not to recognize. It is a superior piece of work and a nice burn against a personality I really don't like. Congratulations Jay Smooth.

Posted by: MC at September 22, 2007 3:12 AM

BRILLIANT!!! hahahahaha :D


Posted by: bill c. at September 22, 2007 5:38 AM

Ha nice.

Posted by: Joe at September 22, 2007 6:07 AM

You will all now refer to this as the Award Winning Illdoctrine.

Posted by: Belve at September 22, 2007 6:35 AM

That's art my dear brother Jay Smooth. FINE ART!

Posted by: E.C. Hopkins at September 22, 2007 8:23 AM

That shit was ill.

Posted by: Chet Rockwell at September 22, 2007 9:50 AM

Is there anyway i can get an MP3 of this song?

Posted by: Karneeleus at September 22, 2007 11:05 AM

LMAO! Bill O'Reilly is the illest, son! LOL! Anyways, good post, man! You'se a fool for this one, though!

Posted by: Kev Clark at September 22, 2007 12:18 PM

damn lmao
you have two choices now either make a album
go on bill oreilly

Posted by: trusouth at September 22, 2007 12:32 PM


Posted by: fredMS at September 22, 2007 1:08 PM

That was amazing. Subscribed.

Posted by: Derek at September 22, 2007 1:24 PM

be careful jay. you keep this up, someone's gonna push a label deal for a parody album. j smooth! the political weird al!

Posted by: miss al boogie at September 22, 2007 1:35 PM

ur a funny guy...

"The O'Reilly Factor is fatter, the facts don't matter
If i lack raw data i just pack more chatter"

hahahaahahaha, u stuuuuuuupid!

yea, ur right on...he jus like a gangsta rapper...talkin bout dumb shit, then sayin well it's jus the shit i seen....please!! fuck bill o reilly!

ur funny as hell tho...keep on...i saw the bill o n nas video first...that shit was great.

Posted by: FuturePrez at September 22, 2007 1:43 PM

lol that was hilarious and on point.

btw, can you pleeeaaase make a video about what you think of the whole "read a book" fiasco?

Posted by: breakbeats at September 22, 2007 2:37 PM

"where my dons at? where my neocons at?"

That ish is priceless!

Posted by: Nichelle at September 22, 2007 3:50 PM

I watch O'Reily almost every night and obviously you don't!!
Don't give up your day job..If this is your claim to fame your day in the sun will not last long. And I imagine that anyone who thinks this was good imitation of Bill has probably never watched O'Reily and only knows about him via some of the liberal Hollywood elites bashing him. Your followers probably know more about George Cloney than George Bush. And they also think 9-1-1 was just a movie and that all those dead people just got up and walked away after the filming was dead. This generation (except for the wonderful young people serving in our armed forces)attention span is about 4 minutes which is about how long this little hip hop tune went. Also unlike a news jounalist O'Reily is a new commentator and people watch him to hear what his opinion on the news are. So the guy who called him a news journalist is a little mixed up. But it is what I would expect from people who think this kind of music has enough value as to listen to it more than once. Oh well it will line the pockets of the loser who is hip hopping it!! And for me I will continue to watch O'Reily every night to hear what his opinion is and than make my own educated opinion on the issue. I do not always agrre with Bill but I do appreciate his side of every issue because some where in between his and the far left is the truth. But the far left would prefer we only hear their side and that is why O'Reily is making them soooo nervous. Well keep on hip hopping your life away..

Posted by: p. Mielke at September 22, 2007 5:57 PM

Oh wow, I hope this fool above me is a troll. But come on now, Jay. No more Bill O'Reilly posts. He's too easy of a target.

Posted by: redsnapper at September 22, 2007 6:56 PM

You don't get bill cause you are are a dil - do without flow, too much blow in the nose - oh I'm the neo - con dro drive a geo = yo, I hate the haters, but love matin' baiters, hey knucklehead, YOUR RAP CAREER, ITS DEAD. word to your Mutha

Posted by: jajamoe at September 22, 2007 7:42 PM

That was fire.

Posted by: JonR at September 22, 2007 9:13 PM

LOL - Nice work as always

Posted by: LHHS at September 22, 2007 9:16 PM

Well Jay, it is obvious you are doing a great job because you have a weirdo like p. Mielke coming to your site and insulting you. (They also did have the urge to use spellchecker or spell their hero's name correctly).

Anyway, keep up the hip hopping and the intelligent and insightful posts.

Posted by: Michelle at September 22, 2007 10:09 PM

P. Mielke: I'm just flattered that you assume I have "followers"!

Jajamoe: I'm just flattered that you assume I have a "rap career"!

Posted by: Jay Smooth at September 22, 2007 10:26 PM

Nice job!

I actually like O'Reilly's show, but this was good. :)
I wouldn't be surprised if he actually shows this on his show--he does have that annoying habit of talking about himself a lot!

(He doesn't claim to be a journalist, though--he's a commentator, opinion guy. Just sayin'.)

Posted by: Beth at September 22, 2007 11:28 PM

Jay Smooth. Connecting the dots.

Posted by: bumperhead at September 23, 2007 1:46 AM

I was wondering when the stans were going to show up...

But seriously, are you looking for a wife?

Posted by: stalkerchic at September 23, 2007 5:23 AM


You should make georege w. rap too....peace

Posted by: swoop at September 23, 2007 6:22 AM


Posted by: General LFO at September 23, 2007 7:43 AM

I know it's a joke. But you write and rap better than half of the "artists" doing it right now. And congrats on the best video blog win, you deserved it.

Posted by: G-Harp the Producer at September 23, 2007 12:42 PM

I posted my comments on the recent firing of IS 109 Principal Shango Blake - dubbed the Hip Hop principal. Take a look by clicking my name or here:

Hip Hop Principal Fired: Is NYC DOE the Real Public Enemy?

And J... I can't believe you have my humming "fooox news..." Sick!!

Posted by: Deidra at September 23, 2007 12:59 PM

that is amazing

Posted by: asdf ihokj at September 23, 2007 1:34 PM

"I watch O'Reily almost every night and obviously you don't!!" quoted from p. Mielke

Is it me, or does that sound homo in a stalker / peeping-tom kind of way??

Posted by: Bill O'Reily at September 23, 2007 6:37 PM

Mielke certainly has a deep emotional attachment to Mr. O'Reilly, but "homo" is not the word I would use..

Posted by: Jay Smooth Author Profile Page at September 23, 2007 8:22 PM

you should do an oprah one. and a russell simmons one. then put together a downloadable concept EP. then you can send me a royalty check. haha sike. but seriously i bet you'd get a bajillion downloads from it.

Posted by: jus is what your day's missing at September 23, 2007 8:26 PM

Very very cool. Also cool? That you read Feministe. How hot is that.

Posted by: Bianca Reagan at September 23, 2007 10:19 PM

Ok... it was over for me at "where my neocons at?"


Posted by: shani-o at September 23, 2007 11:15 PM

In the text accompanying "How To Avoid George Bush Syndrome", when you explained that it was difficult to produce a new vlog every day, I stated in the comments that I come for the quality of the posts, not the quantity. This is exactly what I was talking about! You're brilliant, smooth. Very well done. Much appreciated.

Posted by: crjacobsen at September 24, 2007 5:06 AM

"Mielke certainly has a deep emotional attachment to Mr. O'Reilly, but "homo" is not the word I would use.. "

True True... that wouldn't be fair to homosexuals.

Posted by: Bill O'Reily at September 24, 2007 1:12 PM

Yo, that rhyme was hilarious...more topics.

Posted by: E=mc2 at September 24, 2007 3:01 PM

Yo I thought that shit was wack. Dont do no more rapping.

Posted by: DJ Dru at September 24, 2007 6:00 PM

Is Jay getting asked out on dates through his blog? Hot.

Posted by: Hashim Warren at September 24, 2007 10:56 PM

brilliant, I'm dying over here. this blog is amazing.

Posted by: mike at September 25, 2007 3:54 AM

I watch the O'Reilley factor all the time, but it's not because I believe everything Bill says. I watch because it's one of the few news shows that allows both sides of the story tell it as it is. Although Bill does tend to dominate the debates, that's just how good he is.

That is why I actually agree that Bill personifies a rapper comment. He definitely has the ego, but besides that he has the lyrical skills as well. I'm not saying that he could put together any rhymes, but not too many people are on his level when it comes to the debate. Something most Americans can't appreciate these days is someone that is articulate enough to get their point across without using the same old four letter words that the average person or rapper uses.

Like any man, he just wants to get his point across and sometimes he sounds stupid, but does that make him and different from you and me? You don't have to agree with Mr. O'Reilley, but you can at least respect his show. It's better than other shows where everybody agrees and the host lets the guests say whatever they want. The Factor is all about the drama!

Dope blog though, keep up the work.

Posted by: avreal37 at September 25, 2007 2:38 PM


Posted by: Kupi at September 26, 2007 12:26 PM

man. you spittin on this joint! Sheesh, thats a mean 16 my man.

Posted by: jason Reynolds at September 26, 2007 1:15 PM

Yo ma,

big up from Europe here. You intelligence and humor really compensate the actions of lots of yout more stupid compatriots...

Keep doing your thing!


Posted by: swasko at September 26, 2007 4:23 PM

You know what I'd like to know? For the people who say they watch The O'Reilly Factor all the time, a show which clearly has the man's name in the title, why is it that these same people cannot spell O'Reilly? O'Reily, O'Reilley, no. No.

Posted by: stalkerchic at September 27, 2007 12:55 AM

hahaha fucking brilliant

Posted by: colin at September 27, 2007 1:44 AM

Awesome. I wonder how you feel about Eric Dyson?

Posted by: DesireG at September 27, 2007 7:49 AM

That was outstanding! The whole world should chanting "Foxxx News". Stay up

Posted by: R-SON the Voice of Reason at September 27, 2007 10:20 PM

You killin the e-game jay!

Posted by: Francis MH at September 29, 2007 11:09 PM

You rock....very creative, intelligent, inventive. Just found your blog on Buzzflash....really great. Let the cat rap a little....maybe get him a little hat and shades. Ha.

Posted by: Suzanne at September 30, 2007 1:14 AM

HAHAHHAHAHA!! That was crazy. I love it!! Bill O'Reilly is just like a gangsta rapper. Jsmooth, you can spit!

Posted by: Wise at September 30, 2007 1:49 PM

HAHAHHAHAHA!! That was crazy. I love it!! Bill O'Reilly is just like a gangsta rapper. Jsmooth, you can spit!

Posted by: Wise at September 30, 2007 1:49 PM

Man that is bad ass. Hell yeah!

Posted by: Andy at October 6, 2007 11:43 PM

Shit, that stuff had me laughing in the labs.

Posted by: MJ at October 7, 2007 9:36 AM

Perhaps the most brilliant and truthful rhymes I have ever heard!

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